Murder in Gatlinburg Page 3
After Lou and I enjoyed breakfast and stopped by his place, I went in and called Mark, hoping I might be able to catch him at home. It was still before noon. He was probably one of the few teenagers who was already up. I told him what I wanted and he was excited to teach us how to function in the modern era. He said he would be at my place in a few minutes, so Lou and I headed out to beat him there. Just as our stomach began to growl to let us know that it was time to eat again, Mark had us up to speed about how to use our cell phones. He took another fifteen minutes and walked us through our new laptops. Then he told us he would teach us how to Skype later, and both of us had enough sense to keep our mouths shut as to what Skype was. I think I had heard someone mention the word before, so I didn't think Mark was pulling our leg and making up something. Besides, I was retired. I had time to learn how to Skype, even if I turned out to be a slow learner.
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I dropped Lou by his place after lunch then hurried home to try out my new phone. I knew who would be my first call. Jennifer.
"Hello."
"Guess where I'm calling from?"
"Is this the guy who's about to skip town without me?"
"Not because that's the way I want it. Guess where I am."
"I don't know. Your house."
"Yeah, but guess where in my house."
"Oh, I get it. You must have found someone to teach you how to use your new phone. I bet it was Mark."
"Did anyone ever tell you that you're smart enough to be a detective?"
"No, I figured that out on my own."
"Guess what else I can do."
"I don't know. Rub your stomach and pat your head, and then change hands."
"I'm not sure about that, but I can take pictures with my new phone. How about if I come over and take your picture. That way you will be with me when I'm gone."
"But then maybe you won't miss me as much. You might stay away longer."
"And I might decide to leave the group and hurry home to you."
"Okay, you can come over. Are you coming now?"
"Not only that, but now I can talk to you all the way over to your place."
"Not if I'm to look presentable when you get here."
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While we hadn't had a murder in Hilldale in a little over four months, which meant we got to loaf when we weren't training Heather and Dan, being officially retired still felt different. No longer did we get up each morning wondering if we would have to go to work that day. Our days were our own. We spent a lot of our time at home reading, but some days we were out and about. One beautiful sunny day, Lou backed his 1957 Chevy out of his garage and we were off to pick up Jennifer and Thelma Lou, who knew a perfect picnic spot. They packed a picnic basket with foods we all liked, and all we had to do was drive. Well, Lou had to drive. I always drove when it was just the two of us, and while packing the four of us into my VW didn't sound all that bad to me as long as Lou drove my car, we always took his car when we double-dated. The girls picked a nice isolated spot underneath a cover of trees, next to a stream and not a car passed us the whole time we were there.
As I said before, Jennifer, who was Thelma Lou's cousin, had recently moved to Hilldale, so we would get to see more of each other once Lou and I returned from our vacation.
"You know, Cy, Thelma Lou and I've been talking. We were thinking about sneaking down to Gatlinburg while you're there. At least for a day or two. Maybe we could sneak in a meal or two together, and a kiss or two, too. But we won't do it. We'll stay here and suffer, but all you get the day you return is to sleep until noon. After that, you'd better be available."
I just looked at her and smiled, and thought back to the blind date I didn't want to go on. It was the only time I can ever remember being wrong about anything. There's something to be said for a selective memory.
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The fact that Lou and I had been semi-retired for a while, and only worked when someone had been murdered, probably helped us get through those next four weeks. We had found a way to spend some of our time after we left full-time employment behind. We have always eaten most of our meals out, and still do, but a while back we learned of a mystery bookstore in our area and had done our best to keep the place in business. Our vacation was almost upon us. We were running low on unread books. We would either need books to take with us, or books to read when we returned from vacation and were too tired to do anything except read. So, the next day Lou and I went to the Scene of the Crime Bookstore to stock up on retirement reading material. I can remember the first time Lou and I visited that bookstore and how helpful the owner, Mrs. Evans was. Lou and I had decided that because of our line of work the kind of books we were most likely to read were mysteries of one sort or another. Back then I didn't know there was more than one kind of mystery, but Mrs. E educated us as to the different types of mysteries. The two of us tried a little of this and that, sampling many different mystery authors, and we liked most of the ones we tried. Along the way we narrowed our reading list to twelve authors we would read regularly, and then when we got caught up with one author we added another to bring the number of authors we were reading to twelve. But on each trip to the bookstore, Mrs. E. recommended a few authors we hadn't tried, so we bought a book by some of those authors, too. Lou and I read at about the same pace, so we settled in reading the same authors at the same time. We were up to book eight of each of the authors we were reading, and that made it easier when we went to purchase our next set of books. Three of those authors were from the Golden Age and were no longer around.
We started reading Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot books first, so we were up to Thirteen at Dinner. Other books we purchased that day were The Case of the Sleepwalker's Niece by Erle Stanley Gardner, and The Casino Murder Case by S. S. VanDine. But we found modern day authors we liked, too. Next on our list were Loves Music, Loves to Dance by Mary Higgins Clark, Southern Ghost by Carolyn Hart, "H" Is For Homicide by Sue Grafton, You Have the Right to Remain Puzzled by Parnell Hall, The Partner by John Grisham, The Collectors by David Baldacci, The Enemy by Lee Child, The Woods by Harlan Coben, and Never Look Away by Linwood Barclay. We also left with Mrs. E's suggestions of Open and Shut by David Rosenfelt, Still Life by Louise Penny, and The Blue Zone by Andrew Gross. Rosenfelt and Penny's books were the first in a series. Gross's book was a stand alone. Lou and I were smiling when we left the bookstore that day. We had a lot of new reading material. And Mrs. E. was smiling, too. She had a lot of our money. We were undecided as to whether or not we would take any books on the trip, and finally we decided to take two books each, just in case the place was dull.
7
A couple of days before we left I started having second thoughts. I picked up the phone, my old-fashioned one, and called Lou.
"We need to talk."
"You mean we need to go over this again. I told you to make sure you pay all the bills that will come due while we are gone and to cancel your newspaper for a week."
"Not that! I've taken care of that. It's just that I'm having second thoughts."
"Cy, you're not getting married. You're merely going on a vacation. It will only last a week. Then you can come home and do whatever you want, even if you don't like the vacation."
"It's not the vacation part. Well, maybe it is a little bit. I'm not sure I want to spend a week with a bunch of strangers who might be lunatics."
"Why not? It looks like I'm going to spend a week with at least one lunatic. And it's not like you'll have to shower with all the other guys. You'll have your own room. Remember? You don't even have to share it with me."
"Okay, maybe I can handle that part, but what if retirement doesn't agree with me?"
"Then you take two pills and call me in the morning."
"I'm serious."
"Maybe you can get a job as a night watchman."
"I mean it."
"You'll be okay. Maybe we'll have a murder on the trip, as sort of an easing into retirement thing."
"Yeah, maybe someone w
ill strangle the guy in the next seat."
"That might happen for me, but I don't think it'll happen for you. Besides, we're retired. That means no murder solving. Understood?"
"I'll be fine. If I even hear of a murder I'll call the authorities and let them handle it."
"What if it happens on the bus?"
"Well, then I'll call the authorities if I don't solve it by the time we get to Gatlinburg."
"Cy!"
"Okay, I'll try to stay out of it. No matter what."
"Do you think you can?"
"Sure. I realize that I'm retired, and any murders while we're gone will be out of my jurisdiction."
"Cy, all murders anytime will be out of your jurisdiction. Remember, retired means retired. Now, can you handle it?"
"Yeah. We've both worked too hard all these years. We have a perfect record. No murder in Hilldale has ever gone unsolved all the time we've been the homicide division here."
"And what will happen if someone falls over dead next to you?"
"I'll cry. I'll miss you."
"What if it's a stranger?"
"Then I probably won't cry, but I'll be a little sad."
"And you won't try to solve it?"
"Of course not. Unless I'm asked to help."
"Are you okay now? Ready to head down there and really enjoy a vacation?"
"Rollercoasters here I come!"
"Atta boy! And if you feel the need to work when we come back, you can always count down the days until you're old enough to be a greeter at Wal-Mart."
"We don't have a Wal-Mart in Hilldale."
"Lucky us."
"Maybe I can find a Wal-Mart nearby, and I can be the head of the homicide division there?"
"From what I've heard most Wal-Mart greeters are also the head of homicide. It's just that they don't have many murders at Wal-Marts."
"Yeah, I guess I'll have to request a transfer to the New York City Wal-Mart."
"Do they have one there?"
"I guess. They're not just in small towns anymore."
"But we don't have one here."
"I already said that. So, I guess I'll have to relocate or commute."
I hung up, still as disturbed as I was, but I didn't want to let Lou know. Besides, I was sure there wasn't a police department anywhere that wouldn't want my help in case there was a murder and I was in the area. But I still wasn't feeling any better. I turned around, and even the dog looked disturbed. That was disturbing in and of itself, because I don't have a dog.
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Several good books made the last three weeks pass quickly, and finally the day before we were to leave arrived. Some people believe in getting up when the sun comes shining in through their bedroom window. I wouldn't have a problem with that. The sun hits my bedroom window a little after 2:00 in the afternoon. While I've never lived in the country, I've always thought it would be nice to get up right after the rooster crows. Of course if anyone in my neighborhood gets a rooster, either that rooster will crow only once or I'll be looking for a new neighborhood. But there are times when God makes you appreciate those days when you get to sleep until you wake up naturally, and for me that day was the day we left for Gatlinburg. Lou and I had two choices. Either we would have to get up at 3:00 a.m. and drive to Lexington, or we would have to drive to Lexington the day before, and shack up in a couple of rooms at the Marriott, where the bus would be leaving from. Getting up at 4:30 didn't look the least bit good to me, unless I compared it to getting up at 3:00. So, in the middle of the afternoon of the day before we left, we took off for Lexington and settled down at the Marriott on Newtown Pike, the place from which we would embark on our journey long before God intended for us to get up the next morning. We checked in and got two rooms and decided to eat dinner at the motel. J.W's Steakhouse turned out to be a very good choice, but I couldn't afford to eat there everyday. Both of us chose a smaller steak than what we had been used to eating most of our lives. I took my phone with me and took a picture of Lou, just as he was putting a bite of steak in his mouth. He waited until I had a bite of baked potato in my mouth before he reciprocated. I told him we should cool it, because I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about us. He acted like he was going to come around and give me a kiss on the cheek, but I think the steak knife I had in my hand convinced him otherwise. We both had a good laugh and then behaved so we wouldn't be thrown out of the restaurant.
We had decided to eat early, because we wanted to go to bed early. We both arranged for a wake-up call, plus I set the dratted alarm clock just in case the person at the front desk took a nap and didn't wake up in time to call me. At 9:00 I went to bed, and lay there tossing and turning, and wondering how Lightning would do without me for a week.
8
The next morning I got up, showered, got dressed, and read my morning devotionals. I was brushing my teeth when someone knocked on the door. Not thinking, I opened the door with my toothbrush locked in my mouth and toothpaste escaping, which made me look like I was foaming at the mouth. Five minutes later I got a text from George, letting me know how much he enjoyed the picture Lou had sent him. George told me that if I got a shot the foaming at the mouth should go away. I could see my picture been pasted all over Facebook with a caption reading "Rabid Has Been". I promised myself that I would get even with Lou on the trip, and that I would live long enough to make it to George's retirement party. Secretly I was impressed that Lou had learned how to send a picture that he had taken. It must have been the copious notes the two of us took while Mark instructed us on how to do half of what a teenager could do with a phone. I could make a call, take a picture, send that picture to someone, and text. All in the same day.
When we walked out the front door of the Marriott, I was surprised to see a bus already there at 5:15. We walked out early so I could pat Lightning on the fender and say goodbye for a few days. I think when I did that I felt a little air go out of her tires.
After lingering just a moment, I turned to Lou, who was standing about ten feet away, with his luggage at his feet. We were at least a couple hundred feet from the bus, but I didn't figure the driver would want to drive up to where we were and load our luggage, so Lou and I bent over, picked up our luggage and headed toward the bus, much like Stanley and Ollie in Way Out West. I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye as Lou and I approached the bus. I looked over and spotted a man with a limp, but as he turned and saw us looking at him he stepped back into the shadows. I assumed that he was self-conscious about his limp.
As we grew closer to the bus, I could see that we weren't the first passengers to arrive. A woman, who from a distance looked a few years shy of ninety, had just walked up with her luggage. The bus driver was standing there beside the storage compartment. As far as I could tell only one trunk was already loaded, so I figured Lou and I would be passengers number two and three. I had no idea how many others were making the trip, but felt that our numbers would grow substantially in just a few minutes.
I had been told that people on vacation were friendlier than those left behind. As Lou and I approached, I smiled at the woman who stood there. She frowned back. I refrained from sticking out my tongue, but wiped the smile off my face. Maybe people on vacation don't get friendly until after they arrive at wherever it is they are going. And maybe the people who are smiling now are the neighbors this woman left behind. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye to see if she in any way resembled my next-door neighbor, but I didn't see quite as much need for reconstructive surgery.
The woman seemed a little nervous as she got on the bus. The bus driver didn't look like it was his best day either, but maybe he was in a better mood before he encountered that woman.
"Is this the bus going to the Smokies?"
The bus driver didn't frown, and he nodded, which I guess meant that Lou and I were at the right place. He stood between us and the luggage compartment, so Lou and I handed him our luggage and he stored it for us. He didn't impress me as a brilliant
conversationalist, so I turned to get on the bus. Lou followed. I stepped up and checked to see where Miss Congeniality parked her carcass and took a seat a few rows behind her.
It didn't take long for the bus to start filling up and some of the people smiled or said "hi" as they sat nearby. I guessed that the grumpier people sat up front. I sat closer to where old men sit, near the restroom, if that is what we were supposed to call the small cubicle in the back. Since I got on in front of Lou, I moved over and took the window seat.
I watched as each new person got on the bus. Some of them looked young enough that they might survive the trip. There were even two couples, and a woman with two elementary-age children. I hoped that one of the children would go over and introduce themselves to Mrs. Scrooge. I remembered that George had threatened to plant an informant on the bus. I looked to see if anyone looked like George's informant. There were a couple of men traveling alone, and a few single women, but I had no idea if George would pick a male or female informant. I ruled out the two elementary school children. I wasn't sure about the bus driver or Miss Personality. They both looked like they had been told they had the right to remain silent. I stood and made a pretense of stretching, but the only people I could see were the ones still getting on the bus. The others were hidden by the seat backs. One man who got on looked like someone who had recently been paroled. He was followed by a couple who looked like they had escaped. I was wondering where the friendly people were. Maybe it was just that none of my fellow passengers had had their first cup of coffee. I hoped that no one got trigger happy before breakfast.
I was concentrating so much on our fellow passengers that I didn't notice the change in Lou's disposition. Well, I did, but it took a minute.
"Was it something you ate at breakfast?"
"We haven't eaten breakfast yet, Cy. Remember that doesn't happen until Sevierville."