Pink Flamingoed Page 27

  A Surprise Birthday Party

  Thanksgiving was still a few weeks away. While Good Samaritan Sunday was Pastor Scott’s idea, the next of the street’s festivities came courtesy of Cora. Cora had an idea, and when Cora had an idea, nothing on God’s green earth could stop her. After sharing her idea with Frank and receiving his approval, she picked up the phone and called Ethel. “Ethel, can you get away for a few minutes without you-know-who finding out about it?” A few minutes later, Ethel rang Frank and Cora’s doorbell.

  Because so many people lived on Aylesford Place and all of them were friends, none of them ever gave a birthday party for any of the others. But Cora thought it was time for a change, and the first birthday celebration should be a surprise party. Harry seemed like the most likely candidate for one of those. Not only was Ethel elated about the possibility, but when Cora called the rest of her neighbors each of them thought it was a wonderful idea. Especially when Cora mentioned an idea to bring gag gifts, as well as getting Harry a gift he would enjoy. Everyone was so excited about “doing unto” Harry. Cora watched as many of her neighbors left the street to go shopping. Other than grocery shopping and going to the hospital to visit Scott and Nancy’s new addition, the last time that many of Cora’s neighbors left the street at one time was Valentine’s Day, when many of them went to Martinelli’s.

  +++

  The day before Harry’s birthday, Cora talked on the phone with many of her neighbors. No one was willing to share what he or she got Harry for his birthday. Everyone walked around all smiles, eager to do unto Harry once again. While Harry seemed to be the butt of more jokes than anyone else on Aylesford Place, at least this time he would receive something for his trouble.

  +++

  Harry whistled as he walked up the street, not needing to worry about the wind blowing his hair. Cora had stepped out on the porch for a moment and decided to have a little fun with him.

  “What are you so happy about today? Did the IRS audit some poor soul?”

  “Today’s my birthday, Cora.”

  “Really! How old are you,? Eighty?”

  “Very funny, Cora. I’m only sixty-seven, which means I’m less than ten years older than you.”

  “Well, you look a lot older.”

  Harry decided to ignore Cora’s remark, and began to needle her.

  “So, what’re you getting me for my birthday, Cora?”

  “I don’t know. Have you had your shots? I’d be glad to pay for them if they don’t cost too much. Especially that rabies shot.”

  “Not only haven’t I had my rabies shot, but I’ve been sharpening my teeth in case I ever catch you and your flamingo on my property.”

  “Do you do that after you take them out of the jar in the morning, or before you put them in it at night?”

  “I have you know I have all my own teeth. Anyway, just stop by after you buy my present. I’ll have Ethel check it to see if it’s safe to open.”

  Cora could hardly keep a straight face as she returned to her house and told Frank about her conversation with Harry.

  “Boy, will he be surprised when everyone shows up tonight,” Frank interjected.

  “Yeah, and I like it that we’ll be interrupting Wheel of Fortune,” Cora replied.

  +++

  Everyone had agreed to meet at Frank and Cora’s a little before 7:00. Much to his dismay, Ethel insisted that Harry eat his birthday dinner at the kitchen table instead of eating it off a TV tray while he watched Wheel of Fortune. Ethel always fixed Harry whatever he wanted for his birthday dinner. Because Harry was so frugal, he generally opted for meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Ethel and Harry finished dinner a few minutes before 7:00. Harry ate quickly because he did not want to miss any of Wheel. Just after Harry plopped down in his chair and picked up his remote control, the doorbell rang.

  “Who in tarnation can that be,” Harry asked. “And just as I’m about to watch Wheel. Don’t answer it, Cora.”

  “But I have to answer it, Harry. What if it’s important?”

  “What if it’s burglars?”

  “Harry, burglars don’t ring the doorbell. They wait until you’re gone or asleep and break in.”

  “Maybe these are burglars who know I’m watching TV.”

  “They still wouldn’t ring the bell, Harry. I’m going to see who it is.”

  “Oh, darn it. Is the tape in? I want to be taping, just in case.”

  “Yes, the tape’s in.”

  Harry reached and hit the record button, just as Cora opened the door.

  “Did you see who’s bugging us, Ethel?” Harry asked before he turned around.

  When she did not answer, Harry turned around to a chorus of “surprise.”

  “What in the world are all of you doing here?” Harry asked.

  Cora raised her hands and the group began to sing. Harry could not believe that everyone had showed up to celebrate his birthday.

  “We knew no one else would buy you anything, Harry, so we went shopping for your birthday,” Cora said.

  “Ethel, you might want to shake everything and run water over it before I open it. I don’t trust these people.”

  Harry’s neighbors gathered in a semi-circle in front of his chair and one at a time they handed him a present, beginning with the gag gifts. Doc went first. Harry studied the wrapped present. It felt like a piece of cardboard. Figuring it was fairly safe to open it, Harry unwrapped it to discover an eye chart.

  “Is this your latest book, Brad?” Harry asked, and then laughed at his own joke. Harry looked at it a moment, and then tossed it aside.

  Mallory went next and handed Harry a small, square box. He decided a child was harmless, so he opened the box to discover some novelty store teeth.

  “Just sit them on the table and turn the key on the side,” Mallory suggested.

  Harry did so, and the teeth began to chatter.

  “Reminds me of Cora,” Harry remarked.

  Cora handed Harry her present.

  “Here, this will improve your looks.”

  The box was long and flat. Harry studied it for a moment, but decided Cora would not hand him a bomb with so many of the street’s other residents in the room. Harry opened the box and looked at what was inside.

  “What in the world is this?” Harry asked. “It looks like the head for a dust mop.”

  “And it is, Harry, only in this case it’s for your head. I’m tired of the glare from the sun reflecting off your head every time you walk past my house.”

  “Doesn’t anybody have anything for me that doesn’t have to do with aging?”

  “I do,” said Kenny. “Only be careful when you open it.”

  “That a boy, Kenny. I knew you were better than all these adults,” Harry said as he received the boy’s gift.

  Harry unwrapped the present. The holes in the lid should have been a clue to him. Harry lifted the lid and jerked back against the back of his chair when a frog sprang for his chest.

  “Get this thing off me.”

  Everyone laughed at Harry’s dilemma.

  “I guess I should’ve gotten you the ant farm instead, but I didn’t because the glass was cracked,” Kenny said. Everyone laughed again.

  Neighbors continued to hand Harry gag gifts until Harry had opened them all. Then it was time for the good stuff. Harry opened boxes that contained house slippers, shirts, handkerchiefs, and candy. Jill got Harry a copy of the first book Brad wrote, and Norman gave Harry an anthology of Edgar Allan Poe’s works. All that remained was Frank and Cora’s gift.

  “Here, Harry. I think you’ll like this,” Cora said as she handed him their gift.

  Since the latter gifts were an improvement over the first ones, Harry was not reluctant to open a rectangular box. “Looks like video tapes,” Harry said when he got the box opened.

  “They are, Harry. These ten tapes contain game shows from the ’50’s and ’60’s, all in glorious black-and-white. There’s What’s My Line, To Tell The Truth, I’ve Got A Secre
t, The Price Is Right, The Name’s The Same, and Make That Connection, among others.”

  Harry looked at the box and began to cry. No one had given Harry so special a gift before. Harry’s tears were contagious. Only sniffles could be heard until Harry reached up and hugged Cora. Everyone laughed when Harry said, “Cora, I take back everything I ever said about you.”

  They laughed again when Cora replied, “Harry, I’m not taking back anything I said about you.”

  Harry looked over his new treasure and Allison announced that she had baked Harry a birthday cake. Ethel put up a card table, and Chuck lifted the cake out of the box and sat it on the table. Even Harry laughed when they noticed the white icing with pink flamingos on top.

  “It’s those blasted flamingos again,” Harry said, stating the obvious.

  “You ought to be glad Allison baked the cake, Harry,” Cora said. “If I’d done it, it would have had an old crow on it.”

  Once again, Cora had come up with a wonderful idea. Everyone blabbered like they had not done since the Christmas caroling party. Finally, around nine o’clock neighbors began to leave. After everyone left, Harry sat and looked at his new tape collection. He could not believe he had in his hands some video tapes containing game shows that were on TV when he was a teenager. His mind drifted back to the days of his youth. A few minutes later he remembered to stop taping. Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy had long since ended.

  +++

  Early the next morning Harry sprang from his bed and dashed for the TV.

  “What are you doing?” Ethel asked, knowing full well what Harry planned to do.

  “I’m going to watch some of my game shows that Frank and Cora got me.”

  “Just remember, Harry. Cora said there was eighty hours worth altogether. That means there are one hundred sixty game shows. While that sounds like a lot, you need to save some of them to watch this winter when you’ll be complaining because you don’t have anything to do.”

  Reluctantly, Harry agreed. Besides, he planned to take a break at 11:00 to watch The Price Is Right, with Bob Barker, and he still had not watched the previous night’s episodes of Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.

  Harry plopped down in his recliner, eager to watch his tapes. He pushed the “play” button on the VCR, and smiled as the opening credits for What’s My Line? flashed upon the screen. As a teenager, Harry watched What’s My Line? every Sunday night, and continued to watch it after he and Ethel married. The show on the tape Harry watched originally aired in April 1962. Harry watched as the panelists tried to guess each contestant’s occupation. The first man was a cable car operator from San Francisco. He stumped the panel. With Harry being more at home in the era the show aired than the one in which he now lived, he did not think it out of place when the men and the audience whistled at the pretty, young woman who was the second contestant. Harry laughed when he found out she was with the IRS. She definitely did not work where Harry used to. Harry would have remembered her.

  Harry remembered the game show well. He knew there would be a mystery guest who would try to stump the blindfolded panel. Harry wondered who it would be. He did not have to wait much longer. He was not disappointed. Casey Stengel made a rare TV appearance. He was most noted as the manager of the New York Yankees, but when the show aired Casey had switched teams and was managing a fledgling baseball team, the New York Mets.

  Next up for Harry was a June ’62 episode of I’ve Got a Secret, another one of Harry’s favorite shows from the past. Harry watched as each contestant tried to stump the panel with his or her secret.

  Harry decided to watch one more show before taking a break. He squealed with delight when he found out it was his all-time favorite game show, To Tell The Truth, where three contestants claimed to be the same person. It was up to the panel to see who was telling the truth.

  +++

  Cora could contain herself no longer. Just before lunch, she picked up the phone and called Ethel. Cora laughed when Ethel asked how soon Cora could deliver another batch of tapes. Cora asked about Harry’s itinerary for the day, and Ethel told her that Harry had come up for air once, but only briefly. Ethel thanked Cora again and gave Cora a play-by-play on how much Harry had enjoyed his gift.

  +++

  Over lunch, Harry fretted over how to ration his new tape collection. It had to last him through the winter. Harry planned to watch three more episodes that afternoon, then put the tapes away until another day.

  Each of the afternoon shows made Harry laugh. The first show Harry watched was The Name’s The Same, a show that aired for a few years in the early ’50’s, where each contestant had the same name as a famous person, or their name resembled an action. He followed that with an episode of Make the Connection, which he had never seen. It was only on for four months in 1955. It was a summer replacement show. Harry soon learned that each segment had two contestants and the panelists had to guess their relationship.

  When Harry found out the next show was The Price Is Right, he sat forward in his chair. The tightwad wanted to compare the prices of that day to the prices of today. The only problem was that this was the only show that failed to give the date it aired. This bothered Harry, so he went to the Internet to see what he could learn about The Price Is Right. He quickly learned that the original nighttime show aired on TV from 1957-1964. It did not reappear until Bob Barker started the daytime version in 1972. At least Harry could narrow the date down to late ’50’s or early ’60’s.

  The first item up for bid was a TV, hi-fi, and record cabinet. Harry was surprised to learn that it cost $1,659. And this was a black-and-white TV and a hi-fi with worse sound quality than today. Harry figured he could buy an outfit like that today for the same money. Not that Harry planned to spend any money. Harry hoped they had a car to bid on. They did, but it was a luxury car, and an import at that. Harry wondered if a Rover was made by the same company that makes today’s Range Rovers. He caught the price, $5,201. Harry bought a car around that time, but he paid far less than $5,000 for it. Harry remembered spending a few hundred dollars for his car.

  Harry was in luck. It was the last week for The Price Is Right showcase, and they were giving away a house. A real house, not a mobile home. The value of the house was $27,500. Harry wished he could buy a house for that today. No such luck. The last item of the day was a five carat diamond ring. Its value was $11,500. Harry was so glad Ethel did not collect jewelry. Then or now.

  Although he hated to do so, Harry turned off the TV and reflected upon what he had watched. He thought back to a simpler time, where people lived and acted differently, and then he remembered that people still lived that way on Aylesford Place.

  +++

  The second week in November, Brad’s latest book, The After Dinner Murder, was released. Mrs. Fernwick had arranged for Brad to do a book signing at The Printed Page. She had no idea how many copies of his book to order, so she did what she always did when she had no idea about what to do about something. She prayed. Mrs. Fernwick gasped and grew nervous when she felt like she had received an answer to her prayer. Two years earlier, it had taken her six months to get rid of five copies of Brad’s book, a book that sold quite well across the country. When the answer to her prayer seemed like God was telling her to order 250 copies of Brad’s latest book, she decided to pray again. While she could send back any unsold copies, she would have to pay the shipping on all copies she sent back and a lot of returned copies would put a big dent in her profit.

  Mrs. Fernwick prayed again and she received the same answer. Not only did it seem that she was supposed to order 250 copies of Brad’s book, which was far more copies than she had ever sold of any book other than the Bible, she felt that she was supposed to advertise the book signing in every newspaper within a fifty-mile radius of Hopemont. When a third time of praying seemed to reveal the same answer, Mrs. Fernwick proceeded and trusted God for the results.

  At Brad’s insistence, Amy was to be a part of his book signing, and Brad talked Amy in
to bringing forty of her photographs. Mrs. Fernwick did not have to make any commitment to Amy except enough space for her to set up her photographs next to Brad’s book table, so she was easily sold on the idea, even though it did make her store cramped for space.

  A truck delivered the two hundred fifty copies of Brad’s book on the Wednesday before the Saturday book signing. By Friday night, Mrs. Fernwick had not sold a single copy, which made her a little ill at ease. Still, she managed to tell herself that God was in charge.

  When Mrs. Fernwick arrived at The Printed Page an hour and a half before the store was to open on that Saturday morning, she was surprised to see that six people were lined up outside the store. Each of them had come to purchase a copy of Brad’s book and wanted to make sure they got one. These people had no idea how many copies the store would have, so they arrived early.

  When Brad and Amy arrived an hour later, the line had grown to seventeen people. The store opened and the line increased. Mrs. Fernwick had never seen so many people in her establishment. The serpentine column of humanity meandered around and through each of the store’s aisles. With pen in hand, Brad’s right wrist grew tired. Amy’s display stood right next to Brad’s table, and Brad mentioned Amy’s photographs to each person. Some people decided to take a look at Amy’s work. Not only did the large crowd excite Mrs. Fernwick, Brad, and Amy, but they seemed to excite themselves. The excitement of the day caused many of them, who came only to purchase a copy of Brad’s book, to make additional selections. When the day ended, Mrs. Fernwick had sold 232 copies of Brad’s latest book. Amy had sold thirty-seven of the forty photographs she had brought. She had also taken a few orders for photographs she did not have with her or had sold out of that day, and had given out cards and information about her website. At the end of the day, Mrs. Fernwick had sold almost ten thousand dollars of merchandise. She thanked God for making it possible.