Pink Flamingoed Read online

  “You know, Son, your mom has been talking about how she might want to let the baby have your room, which means that you’d have to move in with your sisters. That might not be such a bad idea after all. Just think of how well you’d get to know each other. Oh, I can see the love, now.”

  “But my sisters don’t even share a room. They each have their own room.”

  “But your mother has talked about redecorating, and the way she is, she might decide to work on more than one room at a time. And you know how slow your mother can be at times.”

  “You say, it’s just one meal, huh, Dad? Oh, God, please let the baby be a boy.”

  +++

  The Fourth of July was not until the following Wednesday, so on the Friday night prior to the Fourth, the amorous foursome headed back to the drive-in for the Elvis Movie Marathon. Chuck contributed part of his Elvis CD collection to listen to on the drive up and back. Amy, who dressed like Ann-Margret in a modest scene from Viva Las Vegas, sang along, while Allison applauded at the end of each song. The guys, in their best Elvis imitation, mumbled “Thank you very much,” each time Elvis and Amy concluded a song. Everyone had a great time, and Brad picked up a schedule of the movies slated for the rest of the season. As four tired people returned home, Amy saw the lights were still on at Frank and Cora’s, and noticed the shadow that appeared at the door when Amy shut the car door.

  Cora’s phone call woke Amy at the crack of noon the next day.

  “Amy, have you taken up drinking?”

  “What’re you talking about, Cora?”

  “Well, just as I was about to start breakfast this morning, I was serenaded by a female voice singing Heartbreak Hotel. Were those the Jordanaires howling in the background?”

  “To set the record straight, we arrived home shortly after five and Mrs. Busybody was hovering near the front door spying on us.”

  “So, you saw me, huh?”

  “Yes, mother dear.”

  “I must remember to turn out the lights the next time.”

  “And we must remember to pull into Allison’s driveway instead.”

  +++

  Everyone rose early on the Fourth of July. Each person had a job to do before heading to the park for the picnic. The women had a lot of cooking to do. The men were to get things together; horseshoes, croquet sets, badminton racquets, and a few extra lawn chairs, even though the park had enough picnic tables to accommodate everyone. Around 11:00, every family loaded their cars and drove to the park. Unlike Sunday mornings when everyone except Barney and Bertha walked to church, almost everyone drove to the park, because each neighbor was loaded down with so much paraphernalia that it made walking difficult. A little after eleven the first cars pulled into the park. The men unloaded each vehicle and put things wherever the women told them to put them. Normally, the women had to arrange all the food on the table, but with each of the ladies preparing a picnic basket, all the men had to do was unload each of the cars and wait until noon.

  Brad looked around at the fashion statement each person had made. Some women wore shorts. Others wore sundresses. All of the men wore shorts. All except two opted for the normal attire of either white socks and athletic shoes or sandals without socks. Harry showed up in dark socks and dress shoes. Brad assumed Harry did it more because he had never been willing to buy white socks and athletic shoes than for any other reason. As always, Barney stood out more than anyone. While Barney wore a nice-looking pair of athletic shoes, he wore his usual red socks. It was a red, white, and blue occasion, so Barney begrudgingly wore blue shorts. He topped off his outfit with a red-and-white Hawaiian print shirt.

  +++

  Barney had some free time, so he made good on a promise to Brad.

  “Hey, young fella, remember when I promised you a ride in the Buick?”

  “I sure do, Sweet Pea. Are you willing to honor that offer today?”

  “Now’s as good of a time as any. Don’t you think?” Barney asked.

  “You bet I do.”

  It was a sunny day, so Barney left the convertible top down. He drove to the end of the street and back, and because Brad enjoyed the ride so much, Barney turned around in Melanie’s driveway and took his passenger for another spin.

  “This is some car you’ve got here, Barney. I don’t guess you’d be interested in selling it,” Brad inquired.

  “Oh, no! This is my baby. It used to belong to my dad and he gave it to me when he and Mom bought a new one. It’s been mine ever since. I’ve had it too long to give it up now.”

  Brad sat there wondering what it would have been like to drive the car when it was new. If he had been Kenny, and Barney would have been Harry, he would have found out in a rendition that would have lasted until the food was served.

  When twelve o’clock came, Cora called everyone together so the bidding could begin for the picnic baskets. A few of the tables were located underneath a canopy of trees, so everyone gathered there to start the festivities. Some sat at tables, others brought lawn chairs, and a few of the younger set sat on quilts placed on the ground. Scott said grace. That way each couple (or trio) could pick their spot as soon as the bidding for each basket was over.

  “Okay, everyone, here’s how we’re going to do this. I’ve placed each of the women’s names in a sack, and when I draw out a name, we’ll begin the bidding on that picnic basket lunch. Remember, whoever is the highest bidder gets to enjoy the picnic lunch with the lady who fixed it. Any questions?”

  There were no questions, so Cora stuck her hand into the sack and pulled out a name. “Nancy Armbruster,” Cora called out. “Okay, Nancy, come forward with your basket and let’s see who bids on lunch with you.”

  Kenny looked at his dad, pleadingly, hoping his dad would let him bid for his mother’s lunch, instead of his sisters’ basket. Scott ignored his son, choosing instead to look at his wife standing beside her picnic basket and looking like he had seen her look three times previously, pregnant, and looking more pregnant each week.

  “Fifteen dollars,” Scott said. He wanted to bid higher, but realized that he had more mouths to feed and less money than the rest of the street’s residents.

  Most of the men had already decided with whom they wanted to share their lunch, so no one bid against Scott. Bidding was more a sense of duty, since most of the women were already taken. Nancy led her husband to a picnic table under a tree away from the rest of the group. Scott carried the basket and held it until his wife spread a tablecloth over the table.

  “You know, Hon, it’s been a while since we’ve gotten to eat by ourselves,” Scott said.

  “It sure has, and I’ve missed our times together. I guess the last time we were alone to eat was that Valentine dinner at Martinelli’s, and my guess is that it’ll be a while before we get to be alone again.”

  “Probably so, but at least you’re nearby. When was the last time I told you how beautiful you look when you’re pregnant?”

  “I don’t know, dear. How old is Mallory?”

  +++

  Cora reached into the sack and pulled out another name.

  “Ethel Conklin.”

  “Two dollars,” Harry said, doing his best to avoid Cora’s dirty look.

  “Old tightwad has bid two dollars. Do I hear more?” Cora pleaded.

  “Ten dollars,” Frank offered.

  While many women might have been offended if their husbands had bid on another woman’s picnic basket, Cora simply looked at Frank and smiled. If Harry had worn false teeth, he probably would have swallowed them. As it was, he merely had to swallow his pride. After one more bid, the bidding ended, and Harry bought his wife’s picnic basket for eleven dollars. Harry grumbled about paying for the same food twice, and then smiled as his wife drew near with her basket. At least it cost less than Martinelli’s, and less than getting stuck with the flamingo.

  Cora stuck her hand into the sack and drew out another name.

  “Jill and Mallory Armbruster.”

  Jill and Mall
ory got up and brought their basket to the front.

  “Two dollars,” Kenny said, not showing a lot of enthusiasm. Kenny was not sure what his dad would have done to him if someone had outbid him. He had mixed emotions as to whether or not he wished to have the winning bid. No one chose to bid against Kenny, so he trudged off with his sisters to “enjoy” lunch together. Kenny took out his frustration on his sisters by spitting his watermelon seeds in their direction.

  Cora continued to draw names out of the sack. As expected, Frank bought Cora’s picnic basket, Brad made the winning bid for Amy’s picnic lunch, Chuck placed the high bid for Allison’s delicacies, and Jim bought what Kathy had fixed.

  While Frank waited for Cora to finish her job as auctioneer and join him for lunch, he heard a car door shut and went to investigate. He found a young man standing in front of the vacant house. Frank went to see if he could help him. The two of them talked for a few minutes. Frank returned with the man in tow, just as the bidding began for Bertha Callahan’s picnic basket. Everyone turned to look at the stranger who wore a Stetson hat and cowboy boots. No one knew who he was, but they knew he was not someone from Hopemont.

  The bidding continued until only two picnic lunches were left, Melanie Daniels’s and Lady Catherine McPherson’s. By this time, everyone had realized that Doc was the only man on Aylesford Place who had not yet bid on a lunch. Would Doc opt for Melanie’s or Lady Catherine’s basket? Doc decided that he would bid on the first name drawn.

  Cora reached in and pulled out the next-to-last name. “Melanie Daniels.”

  Melanie knew that she did not have a love interest at the picnic and tentatively made her way to the front with her basket.

  “Ten dollars,” Doc said, making Melanie feel a little better because someone had bid on her lunch.

  “One hundred dollars,” the stranger called out.

  Everyone gasped as they turned and looked at the tall, dark-headed, young man with the well-groomed mustache.

  Who is the man, anyway? everyone wondered.

  Cora looked at Pastor Scott, who had heard the stranger’s bid. It appeared that each of them was thinking the same thing. With the money that had already been bid plus the stranger’s bid, they knew they had enough money to purchase a new freezer.

  Lady Catherine was left and Doc was the only man left to bid, so Doc decided to pass and let the stranger enjoy a picnic lunch with Melanie. Doc was not sure if any lunch was worth one hundred dollars.

  Cora looked over at Frank and smiled. She had realized that there was one more woman than there were men, and then the problem had been solved, thanks to the stranger wearing the Stetson. As Cora looked at the stranger, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was the man for whom Melanie had been waiting.

  The stranger helped Melanie spread out a large quilt on the ground and then took her hand as she sat. Once she was comfortable, he took a seat next to her. As Melanie began to take out the food, she struck up a conversation with the man whom she did not know.

  “I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before. Are you new to town?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” said the stranger, in his southern drawl.

  “So what brings you to Hopemont?”

  “Well, ma’am, I came looking for a house. I saw a picture of this house and a description on the Internet and I decided to check it out. That’s when I ran into Mr. Henderson, and he invited me to come and join y’all.”

  “Well, that was nice of Mr. Henderson, only around here we call him Frank. Everyone on Aylesford Place calls everyone else by their first names. As you can probably tell, we’re neighbors who are just like family. By the way, my name’s Melanie. I’m the real estate agent of the house you were looking at, as well as the next-door neighbor. You say you saw it listed on the Internet. You aren’t by any chance, ‘handsome,’ are you?”

  The stranger laughed.

  “Well, ma’am, I guess you’d be a better judge of that than I would, but if you don’t mind me saying so, you’re definitely a pretty little filly, a very pretty lady.”

  Melanie laughed.

  “Maybe I should explain myself. Some man has been e-mailing me and his e-mail name is ‘handsome.’ He told me he might be interested in the house.”

  “Oh, I see, ma’am,” said the stranger, laughing. “Well, then I’m not ‘handsome.’ Does that mean the house is taken?”

  “Oh, no. I haven’t promised it to anyone. I’d be glad to show it to you after while, Mr., er, uh. I’m sorry. I don’t even know your name.”

  “It’s Stetson, just like the hat, but since folks in these parts call each other by their first names, you can call me Brett.”

  “I’m very glad to meet you, Brett.”

  “And I’m very glad to make your acquaintance, Miss Melanie.”

  +++

  Even though it was merely a formality, Cora stuck her hand in the sack and pulled out the last name.

  “Lady Catherine McPherson.”

  Lady Catherine, no longer nervous about eating her lunch alone, walked to the front.

  Cora asked for an opening bid.

  “Ten dollars,” Doc called out.

  “Twelve dollars,” someone else shouted.

  Everyone looked at each other quizzically, wondering who else could have bid. Not seeing anyone else, and wondering if maybe he was hearing things, Doc said, “Fifteen dollars.”

  A pale young man with straight, long, dark hair stepped from behind the trees and said, “I bid twenty dollars for my grandmother’s lunch.”

  A hush fell over the crowd. Evidently not only was Norman alive, but he was awake. Cora dropped her sack, as she expressed the shock everyone else was feeling. Lady Catherine did her best to hide her tears.

  After Norman came and escorted his grandmother to a table all their own and everyone became calm again, Frank called out.

  “Hey, Doc! Come on over here and join us! Cora made enough food for an army.”

  As it turned out, only one of Aylesford Place’s residents failed to show up at the picnic. That one sat in her dark house trying to block out the joy and laughter that escaped from the park. Mrs. Peabody sat, thinking of her weekly visitor and what a blessing that visitor had been to her over the last several months. The grocery boy always left her order on the porch, so the weekly visitor was the only person Mrs. Peabody ever saw.

  After each couple (plus one trio) had had an ample amount of time to enjoy their picnic lunches, one by one people began to go up and greet Norman and the stranger who wore the Stetson.

  “You must be Norman. I’m Brad. I live across the street.”

  “You’re the author, aren’t you?”

  “I sure am. Are you a reader, Norman?”

  “Sometimes, but I’m afraid your stuff might be a little on the wimpy side for me. I’m more into Stephen King myself.”

  Brad smiled, and David Lynch movies, he thought, looking at the young man clad entirely in black.

  Melanie enjoyed the shoe being on the other foot as everyone ran up to greet Brett and inquire as to where he was from and why he was in Hopemont. Brett smiled and talked easily with each person, and then, after some time, he took Melanie’s arm and off they went to look at the vacant house. Melanie guided Brett through all three floors of the house and answered each of his questions with enthusiasm. After she had shown him all there was to see, they headed back downstairs.

  “Well, draw up the contract, pretty lady. I think I’m interested and I wouldn’t want Mr. Handsome to beat me to the draw.”

  +++

  Amy apologized to Brad ahead of time. He said he understood why she needed to take so many pictures on such an important occasion. Because of his work, Brad could better understand why Amy had to take advantage of her opportunities.

  +++

  Chuck waited until Amy and Allison became busy with something else, then headed to Brad to seek his opinion.

  “Brad, I’d like your advice about something.”

  “You wan
t my advice. What are you planning to do? Write a book?”

  “No, nothing like that. I’m getting pretty serious about Allison, and I think she likes me, too. I’m not ready to propose, or anything like that, but I was thinking about taking her to meet my family. Do you think that’s a good idea, or would she read more into it than what I mean?”

  “I don’t know. I can understand your dilemma. I love Amy, too, but I promised my parents a long time ago that I would not ask any woman to marry me until I’d dated her for a year. If she’s really the one and really loves me, she’ll be willing to wait. I’ve never mentioned this to Amy, because she’d expect a ring after a year, so I imagine there are times when she wonders about me. But back to you, Chuck, my advice is that you ask Scott, see what he has to say about it.”

  +++

  The next morning, Amy printed the pictures she took at the picnic. Many of the pictures brought a smile to her face. She was delighted that she captured Brad with whipped cream on his nose. And her fast fingers rewarded her with expressions on Cora’s and Harry’s faces as Cora triumphantly sent Harry’s croquet ball halfway across the park. Not only did Amy’s series of shots record Jim’s ringer as some of the men pitched horseshoes, but she knew that the sight of Barney’s pencil-thin legs and red socks next to the stake, and his scrambling away from a errant toss, would bring a smile to many a neighbor’s face. Amy continued to open envelopes and take out pictures. She laughed when she saw Chuck walking ahead of Allison, as each of them held one end of a rope and Allison cracked her imaginary whip as he pulled her chair. With her zoom lens, Amy was able to zero in on Kenny, just as a watermelon seed emerged from his mouth and headed toward his sisters as they tried to duck out of the way of the oncoming projectile. Amy grew pensive as she looked at pictures of Melanie and Brett and hoped he was the one for her. The photographer began to cry as she flipped to a close-up of Lady Catherine and Norman and noticed a tear trickling down Lady Catherine’s cheek. As Brad’s beloved finished looking at the last picture, she paused and thanked God for giving her a talent that could be enjoyed by many over and over again.