Murder at the Book Fair Read online

  We had gone a couple of miles when Lightning coughed, sputtered, and crawled to a stop. I looked. The gauge said I had plenty of gas. I tried to get Lightning going again, but to no avail. I looked at Lou and he pointed to my left. We were in luck. We had come to a stop right in front of someone's house, and there was a little old lady wearing a cardigan sweater that more than likely she had knitted herself. It wasn't buttoned, so I figured she was a tough old gal, since it had started to get a little chilly when the wind picked up as we were walking back from the river to Lightning. The old gal was sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, smoking a pipe, rocking back and forth. I rolled down my window and was about to say something to her.

  "You can't park there."

  "We're not parked. My car quit on me."

  "You'd better move it. Elmer won't like it."

  "We can't move it. It quit. It won't run."

  "You better push it, then, because Elmer won't like it."

  "Do you have a phone I can use?"

  "Ain't got no phone. No use for one."

  "Well, how about a car?"

  "Ain't got one of them, either. Sudie comes and takes me to the grocery once a month, and to the doctor when I need it."

  "Well, who can help us. We're cops, and we're working on a case."

  "Bull!"

  "No, seriously, I can show you my credentials."

  "BULL!"

  The last thing I heard was the old lady say was, "No, Elmer!"

  23

  I managed to glance over just before the bull hit Lightning broadside, on Lou's side of the car. It was the last thing I remembered.

  +++

  I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up it was dark. I hurt all over, but mostly on my left side, where I probably crashed into the door. I didn't think I had any broken bones. Lightning was lying on her side, which meant that I was in an awkward position, lying on my side. My window must have smashed when Lightning tipped over, but the pieces were still intact. I looked up and read the note fastened to the windshield.

  "I told you Elmer wouldn't like it!"

  I couldn't believe that Lou and I had survived being broadsided by a bull. I didn't know that Lou was okay until I felt a pain coming from my arm. It was Lou's foot. He was trying to climb out the top of the car. Well, it used to be the side, but with Lightning on her side it was now the top. In a matter of hours, he had extricated himself from the car, was sitting on what was left of the door, and stuck his hand in to help me get out. I looked around for a crane to help me out instead, but when I didn't see one I stuck my hand up to Lou. He had cuts on his face, but luckily he wasn't bleeding and nothing had hit him in the eye. The glass from his window was scattered all over the car, but mostly on my side, which had become the bottom of the car. None of the pieces of glass had hit me, but I didn't want to cut myself getting out of the car. I stuck my hand up to Lou, and it hurt when he took it and pulled on it.

  "Cy, it will work much better if you unbuckle your seatbelt first."

  I did, but it hurt to do that, too. Before too many days had passed both of us were out of the car, looking around at a dreary world. The woman was no longer sitting on the porch. I thought it would have been too cold for her to do so at night, but then most women I know don't smoke pipes, either. Besides, it had been a pleasant day for November, sunny and in the mid-60s until not long before Lightning was bull-sided. I turned and looked at Lightning. She was thoroughly dented. I couldn't figure out how Lou and I had survived with no more injuries than we had. I was surprised that the bull had walked away. He must have. I didn't think the old woman could have carried him off and buried him. Or sliced him up for supper that quickly.

  It only took one step for me to know that I wasn't paralyzed. Whatever it was, if I had one of them, it hurt. I reached back into what was left of Lightning and located the ice scrapper, which had survived the ordeal quite nicely, although it was wedged between the seat and what used to be the door. That was good because otherwise it would have been on the bottom of the car, and I had no intention of diving back into the scrap metal that used to be my car. The ice scraper had a brush on one end and I used it to sweep the rest of the glass off Lou's clothes. He returned the favor, although I had only a handful of glass pieces on me.

  Once Lou and I had finished our grooming we made our way to our advisor's house and knocked on the door. I don't think we could have raised the little old lady with an air horn. I'm not sure if I would have used one if I had one. I was afraid I would raise Elmer, provided he was still alive. I looked around to see if I could see him somewhere. Maybe he was off nursing his wounds. I was sure he had some. Lightning wasn't made of Styrofoam.

  Gently, we walked down from the old lady's porch and weighed our choices. Neither Lou nor I had any cell phone reception, so I couldn't call Herb Wainscott to come and get us. I wasn't about to go traipsing off through a field in the dark, so we had only two options. Town was a lot farther than Portwood's house. I knew where the key to the house was, so we started off on our two-mile hike. Both of us gritted our teeth quite a few times, as one foot landed on the pavement. I didn't think we'd run into any passing motorists, and we didn't. Not even Elmer was hoofing it down the road.

  Sometimes it gets a little nippy in Kentucky in November. Especially at night. It gets even nippier if it's raining. It doesn't rain a lot in Kentucky in November, but I guess we were just lucky. Wet weather also allows a person to identify his aches and pains more easily. Lightning, the kind that falls from the sky instead of a bull, allows you to see where you are going in the dark. I guess we were blessed.

  We were thoroughly drenched when we got to Portwood's place. Some of the thunder roars sounded nearby, but lightning didn't strike anything within our sight. Our luck started improving when I tried the key in the lock and was able to open the door again. We stepped inside, ready to strip off our clothes and dry them in the dryer. I planned to use Portwood's house phone to call Herb and have him come and get us, if he could get by the overturned car in the road.

  I was halfway across the room when I heard more thunder and saw another bolt of lightning show stranded people the way. It was less than a second until the lights went out. Five minutes later, after running into Lou twice, and running into several pieces of furniture, one wall, and one door facing, I found myself in the kitchen. I used my hands and found a drawer. I opened it and felt around without coming in contact with any sharp objects. I fumbled around and located a flashlight. It actually worked. I used it to light my path until I found Portwood's house phone. I picked it up and the line was as dead as Portwood. Our luck was going up and down faster than a hospital monitor.

  We took off our clothes and hung them over the shower bar in the bathroom. Lou and I are both modest, so I refrained from shining the light on either of us so we could compare bruises. I thought of using the flashlight to see if it would dry our clothes quicker, but I decided to use it to see if anything in the refrigerator was edible. The best I could come up with was bologna and crackers. The bologna didn't look green or gray by flashlight, and there was no fuzz attached, so I checked the expiration date and found out it came from this century. I found a jar of peanut butter too, so Lou and I wouldn't starve, even though our dining choices wouldn't be considered upscale. We might freeze to death, but we wouldn't starve. I thought about going to one of the neighbors and telling them that they were under house arrest, and then I remembered that I wasn't dressed and it was still pouring down rain.

  We ate, drank, and used the facilities by flashlight. We found a couple of beds, and located some towels so Lou and I wouldn't soak the sheets. I went to sleep and was so tired I slept until after daylight.

  24

  I got up Thursday morning and found Lou, dressed and seated by a living room window, reading a Bible he had found. He had the flashlight, but had let light in through the front window, which shed a lot more light on our proceedings than anything did the night before.

  "The pow
er's not on yet?"

  "Nope. And the phone still isn't working. Maybe we can check with one of the neighbors and see if their cell phones are working."

  I went and rescued my clothes, which had dried some but were far from presentable. I took time to read the Bible Lou had found and then Lou and I dined on peanut butter, crackers, and the rest of the bologna. Luckily the inside of the refrigerator was still cool enough.

  Lou and I talked and we thought Bob Barney might be more agreeable to our interruption than Millie Longacre. We walked across the road and knocked. This time he didn't watch us approach.

  "Well, hello again. Something you forgot to ask me?"

  "Yeah, can we use your phone?"

  "You drove all the way back out here to ask to use my phone. Hey! Where is your car? I didn't hear you coming."

  "That's because we stayed at the Portwood Hilton last night."

  "You stayed in the dead man's house?"

  "Well, I didn't think he'd mind. Now can I use your phone?"

  "Come on in. It's over here."

  My jaw dropped when he headed to a land-line phone.

  "I don't think that's working. That reminds me. How come your electricity is working."

  "It isn't. I have a generator. Don't you hear it?"

  "So that's what the noise is. Do you have a cell phone?"

  "Haven't got one of those newfangled things. Besides, I'm not sure it would work way out here."

  Sure enough, Barney's phone didn't work either. I thanked him anyway and headed for Millie Longacre's. A minute later I found out that she didn't have a working phone or a generator. So we turned away, back to our dilemma.

  "Got any ideas, Lou?"

  He pointed down the road and we took off walking toward a reconfigured Lightning. The sun and a breeze helped dry our clothes the rest of the way as we walked. It was cool enough and our aches and pains made us go slow enough that neither of us worked up a sweat.

  A few minutes later I found out why the electricity and phone were out. A pole had fallen. It had also landed, right on Lightning. If Lightning hadn't already been totaled, she was now. I turned away and grieved a little.

  I was too preoccupied with my loss that at first I failed to notice there was a power crew there, as well as the sheriff's car. When Herb saw us he came running up to us.

  "Don't tell me this is your car?"

  "Okay, I won't tell you."

  "What happened?"

  Herb and I filled in each other on what the other didn't know. I told him that Lightning had quit running as we were driving down the road, and then Lightning was struck by a bull, with us still inside. And he let me know that a different kind of lightning spooked Ethel Goocher's bull Elmer and he ran into the pole and knocked it over. I didn't need to ask him where it landed. I didn't inquire about Elmer's health, either.

  "See, the Bushmillers, who live in the first house on the right as you drive down this road, drove down early this morning to assess the damage and see if everyone was alright. Of course, they couldn't get past your car and the downed pole, but they went back and called the power company. I heard about it, knew you were headed out this way, and when I couldn't raise you by phone I drove out to take a look. And it looks like you two will need a ride. A tow, too."

  Herb told me that as soon as he finished he would give us a ride back to LaGrange and we could call someone to come and pick us up. I went over and looked at Lightning again. At least she put up a fight. When the pole hit her that pole cracked a second time. Again I wasn't going to inquire as to the status of the bull.

  +++

  Herb was through in a few minutes and the three of us were on our way to LaGrange. We called Jennifer, who called Thelma Lou, and the two of them drove over two hours to pick us up. Ain't love grand? Lou and I didn't look all that presentable, so Herb went and picked up something for lunch for the three of us while we waited on the girls.

  They arrived and we introduced them to Herb. We had nothing against that part of Kentucky, but we didn't want to spend more time there, so we headed off to Jennifer's car.

  We talked on the way back to Frankfort. We had already paid for two rooms at the Capital Plaza, so we paid for rooms for the girls and they stayed there, too. We cleaned up and took them to get something to eat at Gibby's. Lou and I were both hurting, so we bid the girls an early goodnight, and I went to my room to get on the computer to find a suitable replacement for Lightning. Actually, there would be no suitable replacement. I just knew that in one way cars are like dogs. When one dies and it's time to get another one, you either want something close to what you had, or something a lot different.

  +++

  I got up the next morning and the aches and pains as I got out of bed reminded me of the previous day. I knew Lou was already up, but I wasn't sure about the girls. Jennifer had driven all the way to LaGrange to pick up Lou and me, and I figured that she and Thelma Lou might be tired. I didn't want to wake them too early. But I had things to do before I left my room.

  Sometimes I have my priorities right, so each morning I read my Bible and devotional books before I get started on the rest of my day. The devotional books I read are one called Reflecting Upon God's Word, and one of the Guidepost annuals. Then I read a chapter in the Bible each day and reflect upon what it says. I have a yearly reading program that selected three-hundred-and-sixty-five chapters to give a person a good overview of the Bible. My reading that day came from 2 Kings Chapter 4, one of my favorite stories in the Bible. It's the story of a widow who had debts to pay, but didn't have the money to pay them. So, she went to a man of God. The first thing to learn from this lesson is the widow went to the right person to help her get rid of her troubles, Elisha. He reminded her that she had something of value. In her case it was oil. All of us have something of value. We just have to figure out what it is. After the widow realized what she had could help her get out of debt, Elisha told her to go to her friends and collect as many jars as she could, because he didn't want her to get back in the same predicament again. Broke. Many people do only the minimum they have to do to get out of their dire straits and end up back in the same place after some time. After the widow had collected all those jars, God saw to it that the oil continued to flow until she ran out of jars. The oil was valuable, so Elisha told her to go and sell the oil. He wasn't giving her a handout. He was showing her how she could do what she needed to do to get on her feet again and not fall back into the position in which she had found herself.

  +++

  After I had showered and read my Bible I called Lou on his cell phone and asked him to come over for a few minutes before we checked on the girls. He came, not knowing what I wanted. I didn't keep him in suspense.

  "What kind of vehicle should I get?"

  "One that's bull proof."

  "I know the President has one that's bullet proof, but I don't know if you can get one that's bull proof. I know some people have deer guards on the trucks, but that wouldn't have done us any good, either. The bull hit Lightning on your side, not the front."

  "You don't have to remind me of that, Cy. My teeth are still chattering. I still might end up eating that bull for supper some night. And if you had seen him earlier I could have hollered at him to ram us in the front instead."

  I walked away and picked up my laptop. I went on the Internet and, with no help from Lou, decided on a Toyota or a Honda van, because I had heard how good both of them are. Over breakfast I shared with Lou and the girls what I planned to do, and all three of them thought it was a good idea. We arrived at the first dealership and took a test drive. I was amazed at the room the van had and how comfortable it was. All that was left was to find out how much it was going to cost me. A little over an hour later I walked out of Green's Toyota the owner of a new Salsa Red Pearl Siena. Once again I went against the grain. I'd been told many times that only young women drive VWs, which Lightning was, and that only families with kids drive minivans, and usually the woman of the family drives them. I
didn't care. I'm my own person. I will drive what I want to drive. I even went against the grain by selecting red. More people buy gray minivans than any other color. Gray reminded me of a cop car. I never wanted to look like every other cop, so Lightning was yellow. The only drawback I could see from buying a minivan was that I no longer had an excuse for Lou to drive on our double dates, so Jennifer and I couldn't scrunch up in the back seat. But then I could say, "Lou, you want to see how this thing drives?" I wondered if he would fall for that.

  +++

  Once my new van was sparkling clean and ready to go and I let the girls check out the new car smell, Lou and I kissed the girls goodbye. They had checked out of the hotel, but Lou and I hadn't wrapped up the case yet, so we were going back. For how much longer I wasn't sure. I wanted to be retired again as soon as possible.

  25

  I wanted to wrap up the case before Christmas Eve. I had Christmas shopping to do, and I prefer to do my Christmas shopping during the week, during the morning, the first week in December, so I had no time to waste. Besides, Thanksgiving was coming and Lou and I promised the girls that we would spend it with them. This would be Jennifer's first Thanksgiving as a resident of Hilldale and she wanted all of us to celebrate it at her house. For all of those reasons, and the fact that the sun was still high in the sky when we got back to Frankfort, I was going to talk to some more people, rather than waste the rest of the day.

  The next two people on my list were those two authors who sat at Portwood's table, Lori Wildwood and Jonnetta Jarvis. I had already checked and both of them live in Frankfort. I like it when I don't have to drive too far, even when I have a new vehicle to break in.

  I didn't think much about the case on the way to Frankfort because I was still learning all the bells and whistles on my new Siena, and learning where all the normal things were located. I hit the windshield wipers when I meant to hit the turn signal. I wasn't still employed by the Hilldale Police Department, so the first thing I did before I took off was turn on the radio. The guy who sold me the vehicle told me that the van had Sirius XM radio, showed me a list of what all they had available, and showed me how to program some of them, so I can get right to them with a touch from my finger. I like old music, even though I wasn't alive back then, so I had him program in 40s on 4, 5os on 5, and 60s on 6. I rotated between the three. The first song I heard was The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy From Company B. The Andrews Sisters harmonized well. When that ended I pushed a button and listened to Johnny Mathis sing Chances Are and wondered what our chances were of solving the murder quickly. Next it was time to move to the sixties and the first full song I heard was Yesterday by The Beatles. I sang, "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away." Boy, was that song appropriate. I decided to leave the radio on the sixties and next up was Neil Diamond singing to me about Sweet Caroline. I sang along with him. Lou was glad there was no one else riding with us. However he did say that he heard a couple of dogs in the background, as I drove down the road. By the time we got to Frankfort, Glen Campbell had sung By the Time I Get to Phoenix. I knew that Jennifer wouldn't be rising. She had done that hours earlier. But I wondered how close she was to home.